| PETULANT CROW DESTROYS CHOIR |
[Dec. 21st, 2007|09:08 am] |
Alright Bruvs
Today is so weird in the office, I am one of 2 people on my whole floor in today (there are usually abot 20), makes me wonder why there is even a point in asking us to come in, I have literally, and I actually mean literally no work to do at the moment, yet they've bizzarely still asked me to come in an hour early to cover a phone that didnt ring once in the whole hour early I was here (ofc it has been going mental since that hour has gone by). Awesome. If I was the boss I would spread some yuletide cheer and tell everybody they could go home, but then I imagine this cavalier attitude to business is probably why I am not a boss, and am the person that gets told to come in an hour early for no reason, haha.
I was thinking, like I know movies lie to us, Ive come to accept that now, I realise there isnt any such thing as a terminator, that you can't clone Dinosaurs by using the stomach contents of prehistoric mosquitos trapped in tree sap, and that Kevin Costner isnt really an actor.
'OWEVA, there is one thing that movies have told me time and time again that is another apparant lie. I was reading Graham's livejournal and he mentioned how he missed his flight.
NOW There has been loads of movies where people get stranded in airports and stuff around christmas time, where all the pilots go home and stuff (to be honest this should have been my first clue, this doesnt actually happen in real life) but my main point is, whenever people get locked into an airport/shopping mall/toy store/etc for the night, they always get up to a HUGE amount of japes, running around all the back scenes of the airport, messing around on the luggage belts, and even making a yultide bond with their friends, finding out things about themselves they never knew, and walking away from it all a better person. In fact this is basically exactly what happens in the 2006 movie Unaccompanied Minors. I haven't actually seen it, but I know in my heart that I am right.
Thing is though, in the summer I got delayed in an airport for 14 hours and it was absolutely nothing like that, we just sat in this massive queue for literally over half a day all hot and annoyed and with little to no information to keep us placated. I tried making some bonds with people in the line but loads of them were just thick northerners, it wasnt magical at all? I didnt want to think that movies would just completely make something up, so I thought maybe that stuff only happens at Christmas then, but then the same shit happens to Graham and he just has to stay in some motel? I am raging. For all of us.
Also, I bet if I tried running around all the maintenance tunnels and fucking around on the conveyor belts, I would get hauled off and strip searched post haste. its just another part of Christmas ruined for me really, all im saying is that if I ever got stuck in an airport around Christmas, I would be fully expecting a night of EXTREME fun and japes, not being bored and uncomfortable, and possibly getting fingered by a security guard.
I cannot WAIT for today to be over, luckily I only have 6 hours and 26 minutes to go, thats only a bit more than FOREVER. |
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| PLUCKY SPARROW PREVENTS EXPLOSION |
[Dec. 17th, 2007|12:26 pm] |
Hello mate
Christmas is now so close you could almost UPPERCUT Santa as the portly mate sauntered his way down your chimney. I actually miss the days of believing in Father Christmas, I just remember being so excited and amazed by it all, and I bet its a feeling that doesnt really come back until you have kids of your own. Even then I bet it doesnt completely come back. If I ever get Alzheimers, Im going to make sure that I tell a distraught relative to tell me Santa is real, and then have Christmas every day. You could even just keep giving me the same presents too, it would actually be the best thing ever. I absolutely cannot wait.
Anyway, we are now absolutely FLYING towards Christmas 2007:AWESOME© and this is the last full week at work before a full month of unadulterated arrogance, food, sex, video games, travelling, beer and sleep although not necessarily in that order, although the arrogance will always come 1st, 4th and 9th.
The weekend was fun, although it seemed to go really quick (I am not complaining that much, Christmas is even closer now?) I felt really sick on friday, so I was in for about 45 minutes before deciding to go home, and ended up sleeping almost all day. Got woken up by Jen who had had the most lame of journeys, leaving Liverpool at 1:30 that afternoon, and arriving to mine at 8:20. By contrast she drove back on sunday in less than 3 hours. She was so tired when she got there that we just went to blockbusters and lay in bed and watched a movie - The Rules of Attraction. I have seen the movie before, but I actually forgot how it comes off as this kinda funny drama about kids in college, but then nothing actually good happens to anybody in the movie, nobody gets a happy ending. I actually like that though, its more realistic. Then I had a Meat Feast pizza, which was wiser than beards
The next day we woke up early and drove to Bluewater to do some Christmas shopping, which wasnt really too bad except for the fact I dropped almost £600 on presents. Mind you, £300 of it was on me, so I am actually quite pleased about the whole thing. Good trip all around.
Sunday Jen went home at lunchtime, which was sad, but I dismissed any sadness with an absolute TOUCHDOWN of a beef sandwich and I spent the remainder of the day quite simply playing videogames all day, breaking stride only for a casual roast deliciously prepared by a team of chefs (Mum and Harvey the Cat). I have now mastered Mississippi Queen by Mountain on the Hard setting on Guitar Hero. You might say geek, but you are probably not as cool as me, so I wouldnt understand. Absolutely Top Banana
by the time you have read this, Christmas will be even closer! no need to thank me.
I rate this entry 17 baubles out of 35 |
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| MOON SOLD BY AMBITIOUS CRAB |
[Dec. 5th, 2007|09:31 am] |
Greetings on this valiant and noble wednesday my December friends
So im still not sleeping, I wonder if I will ever sleep again? I sure hope so because I dont think the amount of sleep I am getting can be really all that healthy. Still, the week seems to be going fairly quickly so far (I say that, we are only 2 full days in so far) so the weekend will soon be here and I can devote 2 whole days to trying to sleep.
Been a bit of a weird week for me, my relationship with Jen seems to have hit a bit of a wall. We've been together about 6 months give or take a couple of days, and in all that time we've never ever argued, or even had a bit of a disagreement. Actually I cant recall a time she's ever really truly irritated me, or done something annoying or rude or anything like that, shes a pretty ideal girlfriend really. Still, in 2009 she intended to go to Australia for a year and possibly even 2, and she's also all but decided she's not going to come back to camp either. Now, this whole issue of Australia and camp is something that has always been in the back of our heads (well I know its been in the back of mine anyway) but this week was the first time its been properly talked about out loud, and its caused HUGE problems.
Now, as awesome as she is, the one thing I dislike about our relationship is that we dont get to see each other as much as Id like, since she lives in Liverpool and I live in London (for those not in the know, thats about 3.5 hours drive away), so that pretty much limits us to seeing each other at weekends, which to be honest I wouldnt mind if it was every weekend, but there are occasions, like lately, where because she has exams or whatever, we cant see each other every weekend, and so we end up seeing each other like 2 days out of the whole month. Now, I always feel like that sort of situation is more than tolerable if you have some light at the end of the tunnel, like say since she graduates this june, maybe we could move in together or something. Not saying thats what I want to do, but its a situation that'd make not seeing each other worthwhile, since you know theres only a few months of it before it gets better. With me?
Now, the way I see it, at the moment our situation gets worse. As much as I love her, and as much as she inexplicably is retarded for me (and it is inexplicable if you've ever seen her) If she's in Australia for a year, its not really a relationship is it? part of my feels like im being quite cynical and just giving up, but most of me feels like im probably just being realistic about the whole thing. Then her not coming back to camp bothers me because that could be the one chance we see each other everyday, but I'll actually see her less than usual now.
Its a bit of a weird one though, like part of me feels like what is the point on carrying on something that seems like it cant go anywhere? Why not just end it now rather than waiting a year and making things even harder? but then the other part of me is thinking well what if we end it and then it turns out she doesnt get accepted to go to Australia? that'd be even more upsetting really. Its so hard to judge because it seems like there are so many uncertainties, its hard to figure out how the situation is going to be, but until some of those things become more certain, its always going to be hanging over us. We came stupidly close to breaking up this week, but I think its settled down for now, its especially difficult to gauge how I feel when its all done over the phone too, I have to admit, I didnt feel upset or anything at all, I felt so detached, and im still not sure if its because it hadnt sunk in, or if its because thats just how I feel. I guess I will just have to wait and see.
Anyway, on the plus side, my tickets to AMERICA:CHEAH™ are booked. I leave on the 3rd and return on the 16th, giving me 2 whole weeks of pure awesome to look forward to. We've already booked our Rutgers tickets and hotel in Toronto, so that part of the nonchalance is already a guarantee. I feel like road trips are those things that people think "OMGZ YEAH IT'LL BE SO MUCH FUNZ LOL!?!?!!111!!!!" and in reality you're actually like "Oh I have been in this car for 8 fucking hours, this is complete shit" but for once, I actually feel like with the crowd I'll be travelling with, this could actually be a fun car journey.
As cheesy as it is, I plan to take a video camera out there and try and capture as many awesome moments as possible. In my 18 month adventure, there were so many things I wish I had gotten on video to show people at home and I just never got around to it, partly out of apathy, partly out of feeling like I had plently of time and I guess also at the time you just dont feel that excited by stuff you see every day. Like now I suddenly really wish I had a video of me climbing the Vertical Playpen or something, or dismissing the middle overhang on the climbing wall (I can do the VP in 17 seconds and the Overhang in 23 by the way, yeah what) Also there were SO many times in the summer where I thought "Oh I wont bother taking my camera, somebody is bound to have photos of this" and then you never ever see them. So yeah, im determined to make amends in those 2 weeks, but no doubt I will just repeat past mistakes.
I have Adam's birthday do this weekend, Adam is my best mates little brother although to be honest he's also just one of my best mates. Funny to think he is 21 this weekend, I can remember him being 9 years old, and it really doesnt seem like that long ago, at all. Scary. We are going to a place called Afterskool near Charing Cross, I guess there is the chance Graham or Scott have been there since it sounds a bit like Collide-a-scope? I guess I will find out for myself this weekend.
Then I only have 2 more full weeks until ages of smug - I think from the week before christmas until 3 weeks after it, I am only working something ludicrous like 4 days total. Cant argue with that. Well you could, but you'd be an idiot.
Working 8-4 today, although I did turn up at 8:25 due to some top arrogance from the train. Will obviously still cheekily try to claim hometime at 4 though
Byeeeeee |
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| CHRISTMAS POSTPONED UNTIL MARCH |
[Nov. 30th, 2007|09:23 am] |
Hello there
Well we are now in the last day of November and tomorrow everybody gets to open the first window of their advent calendars. I personally never had that kind of willpower, and would basically open all the windows by December 3rd and eat all the chocolates. Actually, one of my earliest memories is me demolishing about 5 calendars and my mum going absolutely mental at me. I actually really really like Christmas, its easily my favourite holiday aside from Thanksgiving, which we dont have. I dont really understand when people hate on Christmas, I figure these people must be mentally ill, or just generally inferior and are too stupid to understand Christmas. I think whats cool about christmas is the whole month buildup, I think I actually enjoy that more than the day itself, it makes the extreme lameness that is winter infinitely more bearable. Plus we very rarely ever get snow, and as we all know, Snow is extremely fucking lame, and is to be dismissed whenever possible.
I am still not sleeping, its getting to the point now where im sitting here and my whole body is just in pain because im so absolutely dog tired, im just sitting here and thinking about sleeping, im not really helping myself to be perfectly honest. I thought football last night might tire me out, and it did help a little bit, but really not as much as Id have liked. Was good to see Graham though, and the game itself was actually really good although I switched teams halfway through and was on a much worse team than before, haha. I kept unleashing absolute Rollercoasting Bollockers of shots too, I think I casually hit the post twice and the crossbar twice in the first 5 minutes, was gutted.
What a pointless update, I rate it 7 dead cats out of 19 |
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| FISH FOUND TO CONTAIN FUNKY COLD MEDINA |
[Nov. 28th, 2007|02:07 pm] |
Y HALO THAR
I am so soul destroyingly tired at the moment, you know when you are so tired you say something to someone and then you instantly cant remember the entire conversation and start to wonder what the fuck you said and hope it wasnt anything weird or incriminating? well maybe thats just me, but there you go. Im am having inexplicable trouble sleeping lately, I've no idea why. It gets to about 12-1am and im laying in bed absolutely exhausted, but I just cant fall asleep, I often end up lying there for literally hours, I slept about 3 hours last night I reckon maybe the same the night before that. On sunday I didnt fall asleep until 6:30, I have to get up for work at 7, just ridiculous.
I cannot believe how fast this last year has gone. I probably say that every single year (apart from 1995, that year lasted for like 6 years I swear) but this year I feel like it has gone particularly fast. Like me and Brittany are a fortnight away from having broken up a year ago, I mean what the fuck? seems like half of that at best really. So many random things like the winter season of OE and the Mason winter Reunion, none of those feel like they were literally a year ago. Shame, since this last year has probably been my best ever bar none, and I sort of wish it had gone a bit slower so I could have savoured it (well I suppose it lasted just as long as the others to be fair) so I suppose the whole "time flies when you're having fun" is truer than I thought.
I missed Thanksgiving more than I thought I would, I think its my favourite holiday when it comes down to it, its like Christmas with none of the bother or something, I like that. I am sort of dissapointed we dont have a similar tradition in England, I feel like we've done loads of raping and pillaging in our time, should surely qualify for a cheeky holiday celebrating it like the Americans do?
Had a fun weekend though, it was Jen's birthday on Wednesday and she had a party on thursday which I just turned up at as a surprise. It was a good time, and we finished the night in some random studenty club, mainly full of wankers, but they all became better people just having danced on the same floor as me. The club was a bit lame, but it dropped some Jurassic 5 late in the night, so it claimed some much needed wise points on that act alone. Somehow spent £60 which was annoying, especially since about £40 was on other people covering cabs and door entry and stuff. How are you going to turn up to a club and be like "oh I dont have any money" idiots. Actually perhaps I am the bigger clownshoes for paying for them? Heh
I am addicted to Guitar Hero, I feel so lame. I always hated on the game like "Oh what is the point, its Dance Dance Revolution for guys" (Not hating on DDR, but I am not a girl, or an amazingly co-ordinated asian that always seem to be on those arcade machines, so no problem) I found a copy on the cheap and got it on impulse, its like the guiltiest pleasure Ive ever had, sort of like fancying your sister really. I am seriously addicted though, last night I played for so long I looked up and Id been on it for 4 hours. I stopped playing and I had claws instead of hands, I couldnt even type or anything afterwards I could only ROCK.
I am putting together the final touches of my impromptu trip to New Jersey and its looking to be an epic win as far as holidays go. Im looking to go out to New Brunswick in early Janurary, stay at Tom's for 2 days (Tom was my co-counselor in 2006 and I practically lived with him at college when we had weeks off at a time during Winter OE, and has become pretty much one of my closest ever mates) then the whole house (Im an honourary member CHEAH) is going to road trip to Toronto to watch the Rutgers Bowl game before we trip it back and I'll stay around for another week, trying to meet up with as many people as possible.Could be the wisest holiday anybody has ever, ever taken, even the idea on its own is better than 90% of holidays I've actually been on.
3 hours until hometime, I have had nothing to do all day thanks to Royal Mail not sending any documents I need. THANKS LADS.
I rate this entry 47/65 |
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| WORLD WAR III DELAYED DUE TO BUDGET |
[Nov. 21st, 2007|10:26 am] |
Hola!
Just came back from a cheeky jaunt in Barcelona. Id never been before, and I decided to take Jen away for her birthday. It only started to sink in how lucky we are to have European travel so accessible to us in the UK when I talk to some of my American friends. To think that I paid less to fly to Barcelona than I do to get the train to Liverpool (and it only took a little longer) seems ridiculous when you think about it. Part of me feels like I should be sauntering off to Prague and Munich and Paris and Amsterdam and Moscow and Brussells and Lisbon, etc every weekend just because I can.
Anyway Barcelona was a great time, highlights include getting casually bumped up to a smug suite that was worth about 3 times what we paid, then caning the minibar for well over 100 Euros and then somehow getting charged 8.
Its such a nice city too, so so much cleaner than London, and the whole placed just seemed I dunno...classy? I think it helped that we met up with Jen's old roommate, who was out there teaching Spanish in schools, and her being fluent in Catalan and Castillio helped us eat at much nicer restaraunts, although I can say I did enjoy my smug ribs at the Hard Rock Cafe on a particularly lazy night.
I was a little bit nervous about the trip really, when I thought about it, Me and Jen had never spent so much time together by ourselves and it could have potentially caused problems - we've never even had a mild argument in almost 6 months together, so I feel like even the slightest fight would seem like a massive deal. Anyway as it turns out I really had nothing to worry about, although it did highlight just how different our interests were - Jen's a pretty classy girl bordering on posh (I say bordering, she owns 3 horses, wears pashminas and pronounces her th's, thats posh to a SAAAAF EAAAST boy like me) who liked seeing the sights and taking in the local culture, shopping and drinking coffee at tiny little shops along the seafront, I enjoyed raping the minibar and waking up at 3pm. Id really hoped to meet up with Montse, but it sadly didnt work out
Still the whole thing has inspired me to improve my spanish (yes I KNOW they speak Catalan in Barcelona)Id picked up some basic phrases and conversational sentences in my 4 summers at camp and Id always enjoyed the language, and being around it and people who had learned it in just a few years made me decide Id like to learn it properly myself.
I looked around online and found an Audio CD course that claimed to be able to get you to basic conversation standard in 6 months or your money back. Sounded like pretty standard advertising bollocks to me, but looking around its actually seemed very legitimate compared to most courses I found, and its apparantly the same course used by teachers and oddly the course endorsed by foreign diplomats? Still it cost me £90 (was actually about $195, god bless recessions)so I figured it will have me saying more than "HOLA! DONDE EST QUESO?" if I stick to it. Ive set myself an aim to go back next summer and have a bona fide conversation with one of the spanish kids that isnt just "Hey how are you? Im fine thanks! have a good day!" Thats almost 8 months away, I reckon its at least mildly possible.
Anyway, back today and it feels like I havent been to work since 1972, which is particularly confusing since I was born in 1984. Still, its been a fairly relaxed day, neither Pindy who sits next to me or my Boss are in today, so the whole office seems really quiet, but it has given me a nice chance to settle back in. Im actually only working today and tomorrow, which on one hand is nice, but on the other hand is going to make next week seem like a month long.
Im heading up to Liverpool tomorrow (I know, City of Culture '04 at the weekend and then City of Culture '08 in the week, such a traveller) its Jen's birthday today (and Graham's tomorrow :kiss:) and she's having a party (midweek party for lazy students obviously). I told her I couldnt come since I have work, but im casually making the trip up as a surprise, what a nice guy I am.
haha some guy is standing buy the photocopier just literally shouting at it, he is FUMING. Amuses me I have to say |
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| TERRIFIED HEN LAYS HAND GRENADE |
[Oct. 23rd, 2007|12:21 pm] |
Tuesday greetings my October pals,
I decided pretty early this morning that today would be a casual day, I woke up 30 minutes later than I usually do, and then my casual attitude was shared by my train, it pompously dismissed the fact it was supposed to stop at London Bridge and just sauntered into Waterloo East like a true arrogant. It meant a free 25 minute break before Id ever started work, so I tipped my hat to South Eastern and enjoyed the early lunch to be honest. I might have to start getting an earlier train to be honest, the 8:16 is always so determined on claiming some timetable arrogance, it will invariably end up making me look like a chump to my bosses. That said, there is almost nobody in in today, once again conforming to my day of planned apathy.
The last week or so has been pretty good. Saw Graham B Spencer on thursday when he came down to play some 7 a side. It was the most id enjoyed football for ages, which says alot considering I play about 3 to 4 times a week, and it was good to actually get a chance to chat with Graham, considering I barely got to speak to him last time I saw him.
On friday Jen came down and we hung out and watched the movie Kids, and then on saturday we had some people over from Camp. It was supposed to be a big reunion of all the English counselors that came to camp this summer (There was 13 of us this year) but between some people being too busy and others being too lazy, there only ended up being 5 of us, which is pretty poor considering Smithy is my best mate and only lives 5 minutes away and Jen is my girlfriend, only 2 other people bothered to make the effort, shame really. Still we had fun so no problem.
Work has been bizzare the last few days either side of the weekend, im ranging from having literally nothing to do, to being so busy I cant possibly get all my work done in a single day, its quite annoying really, but then that said I dont think I care enough to get THAT annoyed.
Im really missing America actually, not so much camp at the moment, just being in America, I miss Beer Pong alot more than I ever anticipated and I miss just partying, its not the same over here and I think im more accustomed to the American style, shame shame really.
Still, sauntering up to Liverpool this weekend to attend Jen's Halloween party, cant remember/care if I mentioned before, but I will be going as a gansgter, comeplete with Diamond Zirconia grills and Oakland Raiders garb. Actually I hate the word garb, no I idea why Ive used it.
Now I am just talking even more shit |
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| Princess Diana Found Alive and Well Inside Wax Mouse |
[Oct. 12th, 2007|09:49 am] |
Greetings my good and faithful pals,
I have randomly decided to update my Livejournal again for the first time in ages (this is also about the 5 time Ive decided I was apparantly going to keep up my livejournal, its like a yearly thing) Partly because I realised it used to be quite nice to express your thoughts by writing them down, and sharing your trials and tribulations with the few friends that bothered reading in, but also because I have internets access at work now, and writing a near pointless 1500 word essay on a random October evening is definitely more fun that doing adult grown up work.
The trouble with only updating about once every 7 moon cycles, is that of course plenty of fun and interesting shit has happened to me over the last whenever (you would hope) but of course I cannot really be bothered to sum up an entire years worth of fun and laughter in as much detail as I would deem necessary! So we will all have to do without.
To summarise though, the summer at camp was awesome, was quite oddly (to me at least) my 4th summer this year, and I was Sioux Village Leader, which I actually rocked out. Probably my best summer since 2004, probably better if im honest, camp has finally moved past that akward transitional phase and has come into its own now.
Sadly my 18 month American adventure is at an end now, and I am curiously working in a Sperm Bank. Whilst anybody who has read my Facebook will know that the Sperm Bank gig is sadly not the jerking-off-fest I thought and hoped it would be, its still a pretty steady job that pays inexplicably well, and its actually sort of nice to be home as much as I miss camp.
This of course is helped by the fact I have a nice new girlfriend, who not only is almost painfully hot and way out of my league, but also probably one of the nicest and coolest people I have ever met, whilst also managing not to be a complete and utter fuckwit, which is a terrible affliction that has sadly effected almost every girl Ive ever dated.
So my life has settled down quite dramatically really, bizzare that a Fertility Clinic could offer that kind of calming stability really.
Anyway, I think Im going to probably update every day now because there is onyl so much sperm one can take. Unless you go to Rutgers, those girls can take an infinite amount. Allegedly
Here are some photos from the summer. Ive no idea if these pictures work, because work doesnt allow Facebook, so all I get is red boxes. Still, there is random photos in there of me, Partying, Jen, Me and Jen, and other suhc funtertainment. Cheah
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| LIVEJOURNAL CRISIS AS WITTY HEADLINE TAKES VACATION |
[Feb. 13th, 2007|10:40 pm] |
Check, Ch, check check.
First props of the day go out to this computer, which let me spend ages typing out an update, only to decide it couldnt be bothered and had better things to do and crashed. Ive found I cant even get mad at this shit anymore, I just embrace the arrogance of the PC deciding it needed a cigarette break.
Anyway, quite alot has happened since I last updated (Well I say quite alot, but obviously my life goes at about 3mp/h at the moment, finding a Dollar Bill down the side of the sofa is literally as exciting as it gets 96% of the time) Thankfully the other 4% is quite spectaular and makes it all worth it.
So where was I? Oh, so after permanently blemishing my skin with coloured inks, it was time for ***THE SUPERBOWL: AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!!!***
Being my first SUPERBOWL! whilst actually being in America, I was pumped. Actually I just realised it was actually my second Superbowl, I watched the 2005 at Megan Katzfey's apartment, but it was rubbish because I didnt know the rules and she was all annoyed because her boyfriend was being dumb and the Steelers weren't in it. Anyway, I digress. Faye and I went to New Brunswick, home of Rutgers to watch the game at Tom's house with about 20 other people. Considering I thought Rex Grossman sucked balls, and Peyton Manning was a spastic (Plus Brittany supported the Colts, but we're not being bitter) I originally decided I was going to support the Florida Gators, mainly so I could obnoxiously do the Gator Chomp between plays. Finally I just chose the bears, partly because I have more friends in Chicago than in Indiana (i.e just Kari) but mainly because I could pretend to be Chris Farley and go "Daaaaaabearsdabearsdabearsdabears" between plays, which was a worthy swap for being an Alligator.
Anyway, we all got wasted drunk and decided to take it upstairs for many a game of Beer Pong (probably my favourite thing America has that we dont) and Survivor Flipcup. Anyway, I dont remember anything about the rest of the night, but I woke up and learned two things from my friends. 1) I had apparantly drunk almost an entire 30 pack to myself, which seems hard to believe considering I weigh about 150lbs, and secondly, I apparantly hooked up with some girl I dont ever remember meeting, seeing, or talking to at any point in the night. Its like being 15 again, except I should know better since im 22 now.
Anyway, I felt holocaust for about 2 days after that, not helped by the fact me and Faye ended up working something like 14 out of 16 days, which wouldnt be too bad if it wasnt for the fact Ive become accustomed to working about 20 hours a fortnight for the last 2 months. Thankfully we've had since last sunday off and dont work again until Saturday, so I've been mainly sleeping and eating Chocolate Teddy Grahams and Reddi Whip, while watching Spaced and showing Faye how great our comedy is in England.
Thankfully we get paid tomorrow, which I've already decided is going to go towards the mature investment of paying off my Credit Cards. Sadly, im pretty sure im going to end up buying videogames and beer instead, but I like to imagine I can be grownup sometimes.
Im seeing Ryan tomorrow, before heading off to Delaware Valley College to party with Fayes ex-collegemates. I've decided to have fun, despite the fact the crowd is going to be College Sophmores that think drinking is like THE BEST THING EVER!!!! but whatever.
Mercifully, Sam and Kate arrive next monday, so that'll be fun, and then in about 3 weeks I plan to go to Hocking to hang out.
What a shit update
YEAH BOYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! |
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| NATION IN TURMOIL AS SNOW PROVES TO CAUSE CANCER |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|07:12 pm] |
Why hello there loyal subjects.
Mainly out of boredom, I thought Id update my livejournal. I quite nonchalantly just havent updated it at all for over a year, so I suppose I should have literally 12 months of excitement and smugness to pack into one easy to read, lightly entertaining and moving post, but I feel like I cant really be bothered to go that in depth.
Overall it was a good year though, came back to camp for my 18 month stretch in Feb 2006, greeted by the pointlessness that is snow. I really enjoyed my first season of OE, originally I had just sauntered into it as a way to kill the time until the summer came around, but I actually ended up missing OE alot during the summer months, and it was good to get back into the fall season.
The spring overall was pretty mixed for me, I had sort of broken up with Brittany at the time, and knowing she was coming back in the summer, found myself in this stupid relationship purgatory, not quite wanting to let her go, knowing I would have another shot of being with her in the summer, and so never really taking advantage of being single.
Thankfully I had other stuff to keep my mind off of things for the most part, OE workwise was pretty new to me, and so it was quite fun just working with all the different groups, and getting to learn a few new skills. Socially I had a great time, having never gone to college, living in a house full of 20-somethings was a cool experience for me, and I was living with Travis, who became an awesome and close friend of mine, Brad, Kate Bates, and Teresa, so the house was pretty balanced sex wise, and really I couldnt have asked to have it any better, everybody generally got along, and there was never any huge drama in the house, which is always a plus.
So the summer came around, which was again mixed. Maybe it was just the fact it was my 3rd summer, maybe it was the staff, maybe I had expected too much and set myself up, but I didnt have as much fun summer 2006. Alot of the new staff just sucked really, which was unlucky for everybody, and then I think something was just missing in staff week, and nobody ever bonded that well, meaning there just wasnt that community vibe going around camp. Saying that, I still had alot of fun, and since there wasnt so much going on socially, I threw myself into the job alot more, and enjoyed that aspect of it alot, and also got to spend alot more time with Brittany, who id pretty much rekindled everything with almost the second she got back to camp. I ended up spending almost every single weekend off with just me and her, and as much as I missed the hotel party days from 2004 and part of 2005, I just didnt feel like I was missing as much as I usually would have been.
So the summer went by and the fall came around, Faye and Sam started doing OE, until Sam left in October waiting to do the 18 month visa himself this coming Feb. Had a nice bonus of Travis working the last month and a half of the Fall season, so it was good to get some time in with him, and also have someone around who was the closest we had to an outsider to reflect on.
Things seemed to go a bit shitty the second I went home. Finished up the season just before Thanksgiving, and spent 10 days with Brittany, it was the second time Id seen her since the summer, and for all intents and purposes things were going pretty well, Id seen her only a month before, and was supposed to be seeing her 3 weeks after my thanksgiving visit, which in the history of our relationship was almost too good to be true in terms of time between visits.
Things all seemed to fall apart though, especially once I got home. She'd been constantly hassled by a guy she was friends with back home, someone who had been on the scene since we broke up in the Spring, and the guy had built up almost a laughable infatuation with her, not helped by the fact they did hook up while we were split.
It was something I found quite easy to laugh off at first, especially since his romantic attempts reeked of a desperate 8th grader, but over time, Brittany seemed to enjoy the attention more and more, and seemed to care about my concerns less and less, not helped by her telling small lies that started to make me more paranoid and untrusting. It all came to an end when I was back in England over christmas, when I found a message he'd sent her accidentally, and it was basically a conversation between the 2 of them, basically stating their undying love for each other, and worse still, attention seeking comments about how badly I treated her and so on. The writing was pretty much on the wall from that point on, and I broke up with her, and unsuprisingly within 2 weeks, they were going out. There is actually a hell of alot more to this story than this, but it can pretty much be simplified to what I've written, although im not really doing how much I actually got fucked over justice.
Oddly enough, apart from the first 2 weeks or so where I was understandably gutted, I suddenly felt better than ever, I seemed to hit a moment of clarity, where I suddenly became focused on things I really wanted to do, and while I wouldnt say I ever felt like our relationship was a burden, I suddenly felt a huge sense of freedom, and realised how much I was investing into a relationship that I could now invest in myself.
I always thought Id hit a point where Id suddenly be devestated, and have all the sleepless nights and jealous bouts and other such cliches that seem to come with this sort of situation, but it just never came, I feel so nonplussed about the whole thing, it actually makes me question how much I ever actually cared, which I suppose for all intents and purposes, is probably a good thing.
So like I said, this whole situation has oddly ended with me feeling better than ever, and its made me suddenly assess other aspects in my life, with me suddenly thinking about going to University for the first time ever, and more presently, determined to enjoy as much of my last 8 months in the US as possible, as in regards to partying and visiting friends and so on, and so far I've been doing a pretty good job.
Winter OE is pretty boring for the most part, with the most frail of Skeleton crews working. Its only me and Faye up at the Skip at the moment, and shes gone to Ohio for the week meaning I have a whole lot of fuck all to do on the day to day. Groups only come in at the weekends, so I have alot of time to kill.
Well this has probably been the most boring entry Ive ever written, but to be fair, I got bored of writing it 2 sentences in. I think im going to update more regularly now, but I figured id just make one massive post and bring me up to date. I rate this entry 7/10
PEACE |
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| GRAVITY REVEALED AS HOAX |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|04:35 pm] |
Hello
So it was a sunday and Im bored so I thought I might actually bother to update this. Actually I was hoping to get into the swing of updating it again because although I always say im going to update it at camp, and then never do, I suppose I'll have far more free time during OE, and it will be a good way to keep those vaguely interested up to date.
So I suppose one reason other than disnterested laziness I haven't been updating is that quite simply nothing at all has been going on. Since my trip to America has drawn closer and closer, its become an exercise in staying in and saving money, meaning I hardly do anything anymore. Of course all of this is because im going, and soon enough everything is going to get pretty exciting, but I can't say it hasn't been doing my head in waiting around. I realised on thursday when I went for a kickaround that it was the first time I'd actually left the house since the previous monday, which is just shocking really. I was saying to Brittany the other day, I feel like I should maybe be making the most of my last couple of weeks at home since I wont be coming back for quite a while, but to be honest my day to day life is so fucking dull at the moment, im finding it hard to really enjoy being around here. Its nobodies fault of course, and like I say, the only reason Im sitting around is because Im actually leaving, so Im not depressed or anything.
The main downside is that sitting in all day just feels like im sitting here rotting in my chair, so lately I've been making a concious effort to eat more healthily and do some exercises, going running, etc and Im already feeling pretty good. Apparantly they've converted one of the old maintenence cabins into some sort of makeshift gym, so hopefully I'll get into a rhythm of exercising before I leave, and get really fit during OE.
Ive actually got a pretty exciting start to my trip if everything goes to plan. Its supposed to be going something like this
Arrive at camp, go out and maybe party it up
Next day fly to Cincinnati and spend a week with Britt
Get picked up by Teresa a week later and drive down together to Pittsburgh to see Anne
Party it up in Pittsburgh and IUP with her old college friends
Drive back to NJ to start OE
It does sound pretty awesome, but it wasn't without its frustrations, mainly organising getting to Cinci. Originally I couldn't find any tickets for less than $300 for a 2 hour flight, so I looked around and found flights to Dayton which is twice as far from Britt for $94. Only trouble was, her car isnt at College, so we had to wait before we found out her friend could give us a ride. Eventually we found a ride, but then all the direct flights had gone, and all the remaining flights had ridiculous layovers. So that plan scrapped I decided I would just cut my losses and get a $300 flight to Cincinnati, but then I couldn't book anything without finding out how I was getting to Newark. Finally found a flight, but it turned out that all the direct flights left far too early for my ride to get me there in time, and there was only layover flights left. I thought Im not paying $300 when I could have gotten a layover flight originally for $94 so I decided to try and rearrange a new lift to Newark. I finally managed to do this, and went to FINALLY book the flight only to find all the $300 flights had overnight risen to $700+. It was about this time I thought about giving up, but luckily in a last ditch look around I managed to find a flight to Dayton for $280, which after all the trouble I had ended up seeming like an absolute steal. So a few lessons learned in organising there, but at least I finally have everything sorted now.
Its only 17 days now and to be honest I don't feel that excited. I remember this time last year Graham basically waiting to move over himself and being really jealous imagining how awesome it must be to just pretty much move to America. Of course that didn't quite work out for Graham, but the point still stands. The thing is, a year on, I find myself in the exact position I was so envious of, and I don't actually feel that excited. Im not sure why it is really. I think part of it is that it hasn't really sunk in that Im actually going, at least for so long anyway. Plus I think I've waited so long for it to come around that my excitement peaked when I knew it was all happening, and now the months have gone by and im sort of bored at home, the general excitement has sort of dwindled.
I guess also its not like Summercamp or a holiday where you know you're only going for a reasonably short while, so its like this big event you look forward to and get excited for. Like really this is just going to be my life now, so its not like this spot on my calendar that im getting massively excited for. I can't actually articulate this point im trying to make very well at all, but hopefully you guys will understand what Im trying to get at.
Hopefully that doesnt come across like im having second thoughts or anything, because Im not at all. This is something that I think will be a really awesome experience, I just guess Im not feeling how I expected I would about it, maybe that'll all change when I land. Who knows?
So thats it I guess, just felt like randomly updating for once. |
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| MEDICAL CONFUSION ENSUES AS WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO MUSTANG |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|11:55 pm] |
YOU
1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
RECOMMEND
1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:
PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you. |
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| NATION SALUTES QUEENS BRAVERY AS SHE TAKES BULLET TO SAVE DINNER |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|04:43 pm] |
So now comes the yearly review as inspired by Graham, and it seems barely a year since the last one. SEE WHAT I DID! Anyway, this is the introductory paragraph where I act like I have begrudgingly written this just for everybody else's sake, but we all know I love it really. Saying that, no doubt your seat is literally DRIPPING wet to see how much better my year was than yours. So sit down, grab a latte, and let your highness drop some fact.
So much like last year, I have largely forgotten how 2005 started. Ah yes, for me it was literally started with a Jew, with Me seeing out 2004 with Dave and Barret after the Skinny Egyptian from the Bronx made his way to London. The first few months were fairly low key, with me seeing out the days working for the Halifax Bank and generally only having my own awesomeness to get me through the days.
Looking back, a minor turning point was in Feburary when I went to Chicago and Ohio to party with Kari, Ben Potter, Abbey, Megan, Maggie and Ali, with fellow English comrade Dave keeping me company. It was a greats week and I had alot of fun, but most of all, coming back and thinking about how much fun I had with friends I'd made that summer, and it made me realise I actually really did want to go back to camp, despite telling myself and many others from 2004 that I stubbornly didn't want to go back. Once I made my decision, I think I realised it'd pretty much been what I wanted to do all along, but for some reason wouldn't accept it, but whatever, chill, I decided to go back.
By now it was already March, and suddenly I was ready to go to camp again in a matter of months - after leaving the decision so late, it felt like it had come around stupidly fast, since I had thought I wasn't going to go back, I wasn't exactly waiting for the summer to come around, so when I decided I WAS going, it was suddenly hardly wait at all.
Of course in a similar fashion to 2004, where I almost fucked up getting a visa (After dicking around the house taking pictures of myself as a sweet Ninja) I almost didn't make the summer this year again, when I lazily left alot of my visa processing until the last minute, so that when I came to book my interview, the embassy quite nonchalantly claimed they couldn't fit me in by the time camp started, meaning I was going to risk missing camp altogether, and at the very least, miss the awesomeness that is staff week. Of course, all my visa woes were vanquished, when I quite smugly just sauntered over to Ireland and used their embassy instead, which although was time consuming and tiring, barely cost me any more than a train fare to London and a McDonalds, and so I found myself going from a situation where I might not even get to go to camp, to a 6 day period which saw me on Ireland on a Thursday, and touching down in JFK by the next tuesday, almost an entire week before staff week. It was times like that when I had to take pride in myself for being so amazing and perfect. I also read somewhere that my being in Dublin was actually the most exciting thing to EVER happen in Ireland.
So on came the summer. It was a little bit weird at first, and was actually thrown off more than I thought by rocking up at camp 10 months on. In some respects it felt like a lifetime ago I was there, and on the other hand part of me felt like me and Graham had just gotten back from an A&P run and Id never actually left.
It was also a little bit irritating and dissapointing walking back into what was basically a completely new camp, at the very least on a social level, with all the friendships and the name I'd made for myself the year before essentially counting for nothing. Part of me almost felt like I was the new one all over again, but with the added frustration that it should have been the other way around. Despite this, I took solace in the fact that you'd have to be gay or disabled to not realise I am pretty much spectacular, and it'd only be a matter of time before I was frolicking with friends once more. It was also this first night where I took an immediate liking to a girl called Brittany, but MORE OF THAT LATER, so chill.
Anyway staff week went on and it was pretty much awesome and I definitely felt like the summer was there for the taking, both in a social and professional (for want of a better phrase) sense. In fact we had to write letters to ourselves to be opened again at the end of the summer, and this was mine
"Dear God
Alright Son
You know you've got it in you to be a wicked counselor. You were so money last summer, but you fucked it all up in a few stupid moments.
You've got a summer under your belt now and you know what the boundaries are and you've been given a second chance, so don't fuck it up.
The summer is there for the taking, so fuckign take it son.
You know you're the bollocks, so prove it.
Love you Always
Mackers"
As you can see, It was a very motivational letter, and since I am one of my biggest heroes, I took my words very seriously. In the meanwhile I had really started to take quite a liking to Brittany, but after learning a sharp lessing in summer 2004, I was obviously very cautious of being too silly and getting carried away. Of course I nearly messed the whole thing up completely, by getting her to like me, and then making out with another girl and quite spectacularly sending out the wrong message all around, so quite confused about what to do, I simply lay my cards on the tabe and lucky for me it paid off and although its a wonder we ever got together in the first place, for a number of reasons, it developed further and further despite both of us being quite wary of the whole thing, and over 6 months on we're still together.
As for the job I did, well I like to think I did pretty damn well. Definitely an improvement anyway, with alot of the inappropriate shit cut out, and just generally putting the kids first. I guess in a way, it was a bit easy for me too look good, since certain situations arose where I had to be on top of my game, such as when Jason, my co-counselor got fired barely a session in, and I was left running an entire cabin with 11 kids by myself. I like to think I did a good job in the situation, but then I also realise alot of other guys there would have been just as good in my shoes, so it was definitely I guess a pedestal to get myself noticed, and regain some of the respect I undoubtably lost after the impression I gave of myself to Wes in 2004. That, coupled with a glowing reference (I smugly got all 10's, one 8 and an 11) meant I ended the summer in a position where I was truly respected and seen to be really good at my job, and bizzarely for someone as bowel-shatteringly awesome as me, this was actually a new experience, with my nonchalant attitude and disinterested approach to most jobs I've done in the past, I've always been lazy. I think I left the summer with alot more respect from alot of people, especially people like Wes, who must have been half expecting me to go down the same route as 2004
Personal experiences aside, I think this summer was generally a success. There was always going to be a year of rough transition, and I realise there was deinitely parts that have huge room for improvement, but I also think maybe even as soon as next summer, the foundations are there for the camp to be great once again. I don't wish to say anybody of the old school is wrong, I know the camp will be different, and not the place they knew, but I also think alot of people were always waiting for it to fail, and never gave it a chance. Of course everybody is titled to an opinion, but I have to admit it annoys me a little bit when I see an old schooler come out with something like "Yo what the fuck happened to camp" when all they know is Kevin left, and made their mind up about it. At least the likes of Graham gave it another summer, and even Scott and Barret came and saw for themselves, but I dont see how people can write it off just for the sake of it being different. Plus I think it says alot that other people that could be considered old school still had a great time. Perhaps you could argue that people like Lizzie aren't old school in the same way, but I don't think you could say her attachment to the camp was any less valid, she had just as much personal memory to miss out on too, and people like Scott Harris have worked most of their adult life there, and Twinkie has pretty much grown up there...can't have been that bad if they were content huh?
I also think the summer got alot of unfair criticism with things like Fayte for example, I mean come on, did anybody see that coming? How could anybody have prevented that shit? Sure the massage therapy activity wasn't the wisest choice, but at the end of the day any one person could have piped up, so I dont think its fair to blame it on any one person. On top of that who'd have thought the guy was only interested in grabbing kid's junk? 99% of people who could have run that class would have been completely harmless, yeah a ball was dropped, but I think there was an awful lot of pure misfortune there too. At the end of the day, my opinion is correct, because its MY opinion, and its literally a scientific FACT that I am never wrong.
Anyway, the summer started to draw to a close, and I realised that I really, really liked it there and loved working with kids, and I hated the idea of meeking out another 10 months in a bank or office, or another similar vocation not worthy of how cool I am, counting down the days before I can leave once more, so I applied for an OE position, never really expecting to get it, although after the summer I'd just had, im not really sure why I doubted myself. Anyway they offered me the job towards the end of the summer, and I suppose once I got the job it sunk in just how much I actually wanted to do it, and suddenly I had an awful lot to look forward too - The wait to go back to camp after the summer had been cut from 10 months to barely 6, and my relationship with Brittany, which although had steadily grown stronger, had beforehand seemed pretty destined to be cut short. However knowing I was going to be back in America for the semi permanent future, we felt like what we had was worth giving a try, so suddenly I had a whole new job and relationship to look forward too. On top of that, it was just exciting knowing I would get to live in a different country for a pretty long time, and since I dismissed University, just the little things like living in a house full of people my own age make me pretty excited.
So Obviously I left camp feeling fairly good about the future, I now had a plan and not only that, but a plan I was genuinely excited about. I went home planning to get a job and make a little money, but it didnt really work out like that. I mean I got a job and stuff, but I didn't really bolster my finances like I'd planned. Still, I have a month left to pull back some of the money I could have potentially earned so all is not lost.
The next few months were pretty non-eventful, although they did absolutely fly by, and then the most recent highlight was going to visit Brittany over Thanksgiving in november. I have to admit, I was very dubious of how it would all be - I obviously hadn't seen her since camp, and although we talked every day, I worried it'd be different outside of camp, or it might be akward, one of us might not be feeling it anymore or what have you. I was hoping at best that it'd just be a pretty fun week and it wouldn't be weird or anything, but it ended up being even more than that, which I didn't really see coming at all. Im not sure if it was meeting her family and so feeling more of a part of her life, or just spending so much time alone with each other, but we really grew alot closer, and its awesome. I guess the whole thing with Gemma actually effected me more than I thought, I mean there are still times where for absolutely no reason I'll suddenly worry she'll get bored or find someone else and dismiss the whole thing, and hopefully thats something that will go with time, and I've been really careful to not just throw myself into a long term relationship, and really think about how I feel, and I really do love her. It feels weird saying it, and almost a little bit daunting, like im putting my feelings out there, but I really am absolutely retarded for the girl.
And so after that, the year has gradually crawled to a finish, with a typically chilled Christmas the only other real event since I came back from Kentucky.
All in all this year has been awesome, and looking at not only this yearly review, but also last years, I think it speaks volumes that so much of both of them centre around the summer, and the months either side of each one was so unmemorable, so I guess its a potentially quite smug move that I'll be spending 10 out of the 12 months in 2006 at camp. As for how it turns out, I suppose you'll just have to wait patiently for my next yearly review |
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| SANTA TO BE PART OF TAX INVESTIGATION AFTER CLAIMS HE 'DOESN'T EXIST' |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|02:51 am] |
OK my friends, another year, another christmas. The day started like any other, with the morning first and then gradually the night afterwards. He're is a generic sounding run down of the day.
Everybody got up at about 9, except for my sister, who despite usually being the first one to get up at about 4am, was still fast asleep because she actually has a part time job now, and acts like she has to do a marathon every night. I took this as a good oppurtunity to take some revenge for all the times she woke me up at some dumbass hour, and so ran in her room jumping on her bed. Of course now she was up and insistng we start the presents, but I deliberately halted proceedings, by insisting I had a shower just to be smug/clean.
Anyway, my haul was pretty damn awesome. I was expecting some Gold Bullion and an Escalade, but im still pretty pleased with what I got instead. Because everybody likes pictures, I will smugly, well... put some on.
Flights to NYC
A Pair of Jeans
Pair of Boots for kicking and, well mainly just kicking to be honest
Lacoste Aftershave to make me smell even better than I already do
Assorted Deodorant gift set stylings
A rather nice Jacket
3 different T-Shirts, one of them is pink!
The traditional socks gift
A Pink Tie
Hat/Gloves for the bitter NJ days ahead
AVAST!
Also I technically got
Ipod Nano
Basically my sisters dad is an idiot, and to make up for never seeing his daughter, he basically buys her shit all the time. He got her an Ipod for her birthday in November, but amusingly seemed to have fogotten even that and got her an Ipod Nano a few weeks ago. Since she doesnt need both, she sold the Nano to me for like £20, which is just ridiculous. The screen is actually fucked, you can only see the top half of it and the colours are all drained, but it doesn't matter really. You can still see what you're doing enough for it to be useable, and like, I got about £140 off so it doesn't bother me. Sweet deal all round I reckon
So,quite a smug collection there. After the present opening, we chilled with some Bacon Sandwiches, before I started drinking, and then Mum made a start on the GLORIOUS feast that lay ahead. Eventually the rest of the family arrived, and we sat down to the table (Me at the head of course) before they all thanked me for their blessings, and I gave them permission to eat. The food was so good, I actually finished it in a negative amount of time. Then I called Brittany on the telecommunicator to wish her a Merry Christmas and wat have you. She got me a kickass present too, but it is so sentimental, if I told you then your relationship will automatically fail, just because it isnt as good as mine.
Afterwards we went downstairs and chilled, but I ended up chilling so much, I actually feel asleep, and ended up missing the rest of the Christmas Day frivolities. I am mildly annoyed, if only for the fact I inevitably missed some cool Christmas snacks. Ah well, we have Boxing day now! I am going to my Dad's tomorrow, for the first time in about over a Year. It should be akward and irritating, but I am only there for half a day, so result! After that I shall probably chill with my homies drinking Bud.
I trust you all had a day as good as mine, and I hope you have a great new year.
Bless you my Niggers |
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| APRIL FOOL GONE WRONG LEAVES OVER 9000 DEAD |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|06:40 pm] |
Yeah, this update is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I'd never amount to nothin', to all the people that lived above the buildings that I was hustlin' in front of that called the police on me when I was just tryin' to make some money to feed my daughters, and all the niggaz in the struggle, you know what I'm sayin'?
Haha, it's all good baby bay-bee, uh
OK, so first up DAT THING WOT LIZZIE DOT WOT INVOLVED SENTENCES, mainly out of boredom, and also to remind myself how funny I am, even within a mere sentence.
JANUARY
Nigger Please!
Well alot has happened in the last few days, I will be FUCKED if I can remember it all. I will try to be honest
FEBURARY
Im Back! And Im Black! Actually I am not Black to be honest.
MARCH
Hello
I can't be bothered to update really, but I did make a video of my house
**WARNING**
It contains the following
Absusive Language
Mess
The most arrogant cat ever
Me
APRIL
Greetings
So, almost 3 months have passed, and I've arrogantly only updated my livejournal 4 times. Well 3 really, since the most recent was just a beweilderingly pointless duet of pictures of me wearing Camp Mason Visors. Anyway.
MAY
Ahoy HOY
Ok so time of an update mates? Cheers
THE FOLLOWING IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST FEW DAYS OF MY LIFE. NAMES HAVE NOT BEEN CHANGED
JUNE
Yeah so BASICALLY© nothing much has happened apart from this ongoing Visa saga, which I've pretty much moaned to everybody about for weeks, but im going to write it all down here anyway because I find it theraputic OR SOMETHING.
SEPTEMBER
Ok so yeah, I had kind of given up on this because I...well, I couldn't be bothered, but then I just thought about all the fans just frantically logging onto livejournal checking in vain to see if Id left an update, just a brief glimspe into my own life to fulfill them. Well my friends, wipe your seats off because I've decided to do it, so sit down and enjoy reading about stuff probably not at all relevant to you.
OCTOBER
Arrogantly cannot be bothered for an actual update. DEAL
NOVEMBER
Ok so im bored.
DECEMBER
Ok my Yuletide friends, I can never be bothered to update anymore even though my life is better and more exciting than yours by default (through a mixture of you not being as good as me, and me being so awesome, 78 women fell over then exploded)
Apart from that, nothing much has happened. I have finished work now, so I am desperately looking to fill my days with yet more tedious, yet hourly paid work, hopefully for MUCH more money than I was getting. I booked my Visa interview today for THE TENTH OF JANUARY 2006! I am expecting some sort of hitch, with me almost missing it in 2004, and being so disorganised I had to make a frantic daytrip to Dublin in 2005. Other than that, things are good, so chill
PEACE |
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| MAN, 47, LEFT FIGHTING FOR LIFE AFTER VICIOUS PIGEON ATTACK |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|04:23 am] |
Whats this? I hear you cry, well guess what, its an early Christmas present, or for all you Jews out there, chill with a bagel and just accept this as the best Chanukah ever. Are we sitting comfortably? then I'll begin.
Ok so I woke up this morning quite pompously at 1:55pm, lazy enough you might think, yet all the more smug considering I started work at 2. Not really caring too much, I make myself look beautiful (took a negative amount of time) and make my way to work, accompanied by the Beastie Boys on my ever so ghetto MP3 player (I did not get it from the Ghetto, but it does need a rubber band wrapped around it to keep the battery compartment closed)
Anyway, so I am on the bus almost at work, daydreaming of Ice cream, when I notice that I can see someone from my work is chasing somebody down the street! A shoplifter! So I get off the bus since it had stopped, and look down the road to see what the beef was with this guy and the geezer from my work who was in pursuit. I see that out guy has caught the thief, so I think to myself "ok" and carry on my merry way. So I take like 2 steps down the road, and turn around again to see if anything is happening, to see the guy from my work on the floor, quite merrily getting the absolute shit kicked out of him. So I look around for a phonebox so I can change into my Superman outfit, but there is none to be seen, so I think I have to do this alone. So basically I ran full speed towards this guy, who is so engrossed in punching and kicking this bloke, that he has no idea that 5'8" of arrogance is sprinting towards him. So imagine his surprise, when I absoluetly SMASH into him with my shoulder and send him flying across the floor, and then I hold him down until the police arrive. I was SO cool and SO badass that apparantly everybody within a 6 mile radius actually went blind. I then proceed to nonchalantly stroll into work a fairly arrogant 40 minutes late, yet am absolved of all management beef because of my actions. Turned out the guy only stole a deoderant gift set, what a monumental tool.
I only mention this because this is actually the THIRD time something like this has happened in recent months I am clearly a MAGNET for danger/arrogance, I should order a cape really. A while ago I caught some pretender trying to break into my mums car, and the next day embarked on a similar chase at work after some guy decided to punch someone in the shop. We caught him too, turned out to be some little cock thinking he was the man, but started crying his pussy eyes out when we caught him. Too funny.
So that was pretty much most of my arrogance for today, apart from when I got home, I was frustratingly locked out, until I just ran down the road, jumped 2 fences to the school behind my house, climbed into my own garden, found a pole in the shed, stuck it through the cat-flap, and turned the backdoor key in the lock. Sometimes I am SO awesome I wish I was a girl so I could meet me and go out with me.
DISMISSED!
oh that reminds me, I started another LJ for some reason, although I will still use this one. The other is basically just for hating on stuff
http://www.livejournal.com/users/dismissed_/ |
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| MACKERS DECLARED GREATEST HUMAN, ANIMAL OR MINERAL BY GOD AND MAGIC JOHNSON |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|03:08 am] |
Ok my Yuletide friends, I can never be bothered to update anymore even though my life is better and more exciting than yours by default (through a mixture of you not being as good as me, and me being so awesome, 78 women fell over then exploded) HOWEVER™, I decided in fair exchange, that I will amuse myself (and therefore you) by posting a daily update of Winners and Losers of 2005. Yes, thats right -
This post is basically an outlet for us to celebrate people who won this year, and also to poke lighthearted yet ultimately offensive fun at those who fell off hard. So sit down, put your hands down your pants, and enjoy the literacy goodness within.
NOW FOR THE START
***WINNER***
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Ok so the Queen always wins by default, but what better place to start than one of the Worlds greatest peoples? :*) Invented in 1785 as a defence against Blacks and Geeks, The Queen has bravely looked after her country in secret for over 300 years, but decided to come out of hiding in 1953 just to forge a half century career out of constantly dismissing Northern Ireland. Complete with an Adamantium skeleton much like Wolverine, the Queen is rumoured to be stronger than any Human, Ape or Truck ever known. Other special abilities are being really old and refusing to die, and being able to make people melt with just a look as shown below -
The queen sonning a chinese village just because someone gave her a bad chow mein
The Queen is also especially smug not only for constantly dismissing her son's horse faced wife, but also for casually refusing to die, JUST so Charles doesnt get a go as King. It is for all these reasons, plus the fact she keeps the pride of england burning in my heart, that the Queen is voted as a ***WINNER*** of 2005
***LOSER***
GEORGE BEST
Born in 1946, Best started out so well. Said to have emerged from his mother's potato scented vagina holding a pint of White Spirit, he promptly downed the pure alcohol before chinning the Midwife and sprouting a full beard. Things only got better for George, who went on to have a glittering Association Football career, most notably with the American team the Manchester Red Devils. Sadly, Best fell off hard once his playing days were over. Becoming a laughable alcoholic and raising a closet woofter for a son, Best had well and truly started to lose it.
Bravely (Especially for an Irishman), Best did his...well, best to regain some of the arrogance he'd so awesomely lived by in his heyday. In a desperate attempt to get back some credibility, He married a girl half his age, and smugly knocked the cow about just to prove he could. Further props was earned when he casually just dismissed waiting lists and decided to credit himself with a new Liver, after smugly destroying his own completely through his own actions. Best saluted the public outrage by immediately swanning down the pub.
Best, about to deal out a dry slap just because he'd find it funny
Sadly, despite all his efforts, Best gradually fell off completely, when earlier this November when he bravely died, which isn't really arrogant at all, hence, this year, George Best ***LOST*** |
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| GUY FAWKES REVEALED TO BE WORLDS RICHEST MAN AS "PENNY FOR THE GUY" SCHEME REAPS REWARDS |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|11:15 pm] |
Ok so im bored. VERY bored, and so I have decided it is time for me to carry on the tradition of the Staff Address Book review from my good friend Sir Scott Connor who did this and the Top 5's of the summer in years gone by. I will say now, this is only a laugh, and at the end of the day, its only an address page, so don't get all upset if I say some bad things, its a laugh! So yeah on with it SONS (and daughters) Oh yeah, and im not going to do everybody because that would be pointless no? Oh yeah and obviously it helps if you actually have your address book while you read this, unless you're Lizzie Gordon, in which case blame Graham
Ok here we go kids
Wes - Ok, so hes drawn a very nice picture there, but where are the contact details. yes we KNOW you live at camp, but still, no personal touch there is there mate. This only confirms my strong belief that Wes is fact a Mafia Assassin, and does not want to leave any trace back to himself.
Brett - Look, they worked the poor bastard so hard this summer that he didn't have time to actually do a decent page. He's just scrawled it all down in sharpie, I've written shopping lists neater than that. Damn Hippies
Eric - Eric has drawn a very nice picture here, which looks very out of place among all the half arsed bollocks that most people have decided to put out. Got to admire the arrogance of him deliberately showing everybody up though
Sherene - OK so whats with thr random pictures Nemo? and then a Slug? I simply don't understand "Just keep swimming" Wasn't it the other Fish who said that anyway? and why have you written Barbie so big? yes it looks very nice, but just seems to serve absolutely no relevance. Plus you've written it far, far bigger than your actual name, which is actually quite difficult to find. Odd
Scott - All very nice, but I bet the poor fucker didn't know what girl to shout out to, hahaha. PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE!
Jono - It wasn't until your page came about that I realised just how much Africa looks like a withered old Penis. I salute you. Also I called that number once and it didn't work, which is pretty rude I reckon. Do not beleive this African's heartbreaking lies.
Simon - Simons looks like he just copied Nick's from last year. Its very nice though, except it looks like he did it all faintly then forgot to go over half of it. Ah well Si
Henry - Helpfully put down his cabin for us all to remember him. To be honest im surprised he remembered it himself since he never bothered to return to it after time off half the time.
Blair - Why is there a gnome there? I simply do not understand, you're about 7'9" and you have a Gnome for a picture? "My door is always open for you to drop in" What use is that mate, you're in America? Or what if you're not in? I don't want to fly all the way to NZ just to find you've gone out.
Jeremy - Jesus Wept, you were A&C Director, but it looks like a child did it. You had Picasso on the back of your Sioux shirt, probably fitting, looks like Picasso had a heart attack while on acid when he drew this mess. Awesome.
Mackers - Simply arrogant
Nick - Very Nice, Why a gingerbread man? I don't get this at all. I suspect all Kiwi's in fact suffer from a rare, mild mental disability
Geo - Its all very touching my friend, but it was a bit of a waste of time drawing the Puerto Rican flag because nobody will recognise it, since PR is like the K-Mart of Spain. I Love you though.
Dingo - "HANS DU AR MIN BROR FOREVER" Ok I don't speak Swedish, but thats BLATANTLY some gay shoutout about how they touched each other
Graham - WOE WOE WOE WOE WOE. Cheer up mate, you're finally getting laid at least!
Teresa - Blatantly forgot that it had to be photocopied, because the original looked very nice, but this just looks like somebody spilled coffee all over it
Anna - "Thank very much to everybody who made my summer so brilliant" What you mean those people who filled in your activities because you were too busy sleeping all the time? Kudos
Adrienne - Couldn't be bothered so just did the exact same page as last year. Nice work
Brittanny, Meredith, Mary, Jen, Jessiy, Amanda D, Cherry - Drew a Horse/Horseshoe just to drive home the fact that they were ranch staff, and to confirm to us that they worked with horses up there. Like the fact they didn't smell like wet hay and shit all the time wasn't reminder enough, hahaha.
Kristin - I Heart G.S. Yeah, well someone has to I suppose.
Nadia - Very Nice. I think you can see her Nipple in that photo, so this gets the 1st place for me
Amanda B - "Aka Tofu" Im sorry, but what the fuck? Where the hell did Tofu come from? did anybody call you that ever? or was it just you? what a completely random nickname. Look, Tofu is a protein rich food coagulated from an extract of soybeans and used in salads and various cooked foods...what the hell does that have to do with ANY human?
Birgit - Oh so you call yourself Zebra all summer but NOW its Birgit eh? No email address either? She was tapping away on that laptop the whole time, stealing Peterson's bandwith, but then all of a sudden she doesn't have an email? its ok ZEBRA we all see how it is.
Kandi - Ok, so its all started very nice, but it looks like you ran out of space towards the end. Also, what the hell happened to that picture? didn't photocopy too well did it, you look like the girl from The Ring
Caroline - SACRÉ BLEU!!! Well we'll never know will we, because Hammer dropped the ball didnt he. Twat
Pei Yin - OK, you seem awfully sentimental for somebody who'd been there about 3 days, it worries me, she might come back and murder us all if we don't write back or something
Kate - Wont get contacted by anybody because they won't be able to read her awful handwriting. Plus nobody cared about the lifeguards anyway. BURN!
So that concludes my review of people's pages. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Actually, I hope you enjoyed it more because this only took me about 5 minutes, and I got pretty bored about halfway through. For those who didn't get included, I know you're wondering why, and secretly a bit gutted, the truth is, your page was probably so boring I couldn't think of a single thing to say about it...SIKE!
No really I love you all, and I hope you are all well.
SEE YA!
Love
Mackers |
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| TORTOISE STRIPPED OF RACE TITLE AFTER FAILING DRUGS TEST. HARE DECLARED WINNER |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|07:46 pm] |
Ok here is the Top 5's for this year I carried on from Scott. Gives those of you who wasn't there a chance to look, or those who were a sneaky peek.
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Ok, so second in a great tradition of Camp Mason Emails, I am giving myself permission to do the CAMP MASON TOP 5's of 2005. Like with the Address Book Review, it is all just fun and games, and a lighthearted look back at what was an awesome summer. so don't get upset or NUFFINK.
Places to have sex:
Ok so Im not really one to comment since I was a good boy this summer, but I will still give people some tips for the future, so get a pen and note these down
1) Upper Athletics Field - Where you score
2) Pool Shed - Where you get to go for a dip
3) Riflery - Where you shoot your load
4) Archery - Where you show her your big arrow
5) Kitchen - Where you erm, cook.
LOLOCAUST!!!
Ok so frankly cringeworthy puns aside, I hear these all good places. With the UAF you got the romantic nuances of making love under the stars, but its also a fairly easy place to get caught, so only for people who are either careless or fairly useless at sex in general. Then you got the Pool Shed, which is secluded, and fairly spacious, but basically quite a bit of effort to get into, plus you're not exactly too far away from Peterson or the Office. Strictly for those who don't mind taking a risk, or like to swim I guess. Ok Riflery the classic home all all wrongdoing's at camp, people used this since it was miles away, which was also why loads of poeple never bothered with it. I personally was just scared of the Daddy Long Legs. Archery much the same except more hay, and not as far. Basically for the people who liked the idea of Riflery, but either didnt get there quick enough, didn't have a flashlight, or simply couldn't be bothered to walk that far. Kitchen for the more adventerous of folk, since people came in and out all the time. The more tenacious couples would have found the ladder that led to the top of the chillers at the back.
Honourable mentions go to the Office, which I heard quite brilliantly, yet rather disturbingly got used by someone, and The Ball Shed, which Brett cruelly stole away from everybody by converting it from a ramshackle ball holder/sex emporium to a quaint office. Also the Pool Tent, which was a curious choice, and also of course not forgetting the affectionately named TEEPEE OF LOVE.
Drinks:
1) Yagerbombs
2) Captain Morgans Rum
3) Bud/Coors Light
4) Rumplemints
5) Whatever the fuck was in that mental cocktail Meg made when Scott and Barret visited
Ok, so obviously Yagerbombs are up first. Despite being stupidly expensive, even by American standards, Yagerbombs had the arrogance to taste beautiful AND get you wasted, meaning you could drink about a MILLION in one night. Also got finished in seconds, so you could have one and still get to chill with a beer. Led to the Taliban getting formed dropping bombs over JD's, which was essentially just Me and Ryan, and anybody else who we decided to let in our primitive circle of time off debauchery. Also, the sheer volume of Red Bull within each one meant you never actually got too messed up, and could continue long into the night. Captains of course, is the staple liqour of anybody who goes to camp, and I beleive it is actually part of New Jersey State law that turning down a shot of captain, (or a captain call as it is known) is actually a federal offence that could lead to up to 18 years in jail or even death.
Then you have Bud/Coors, which obviously aren't the most fantastic of drinks, but are the staple alcohol of any weekend, party, banquet or game of Beer Pong, so they are the foundations on which good times are had. Rumplemint's is simply just awesome, all the goodness of a hard shot, with all the minty freshness of menthol gum. Its like some guy kept getting yelled at by his wife for drinking when he should have been with her, so he pompously just invented a drink that made it smell like he'd been chilling with some gum. Kudos. Props get handed to that Nalgene Cocktail meg made simply because it just destroyed my girlfriend almost immediately. I suspect the ingredients were basically ash and pure Kerosene.
Weekends:
Ok remember that I can obviously only talk for ones I was actually at, although I will try and rate them as social events also its obviously going to be influenced by personal experience.
1) Sam's Birthday in JD's
2) Scott and Barret Visiting
3) Seaside Heights
4) Staff Week Weekend
5) The Night after the Banquet
Ok, so the weekends might sound lame to a seasoned pro, but these all ruled. Weekends were an odd one on occasion this year, with social groups often being alot more fragmented on weekend time, and seemingly far less partiers. People preffered to chill. Anyway, although it was JD's, sams birthday simply RULED. If I remember correctly, it was crossover weekend, so a pretty huge portion of people decided to come along. Many Yagerbombs later, and the night basically turned awesome. Everyone got nicely toasted, wicked music playing, and then the English all smugly launched into a rousing chorus of basically every england football song ever, basically stunning the trampy biker locals. Awesome. Scott and Barret visiting was obviously wicked, a small, welcome taste of the old school, plus I got to see 2 of my best mates. Chilled at some random hotel, before cranking out some much missed short straws, and reuniting the Captain with everybody. Brittany amusingly got wasted after hardly touching a drink all summer, all before Scott casually managed to get himself in the hookups slideshow before his visit to camp was even 24 hours old. Classic.
Seaside heights was also another weekend with a huge turnout, largely owing to it being a 36 hour deal for most. Perhaps the best thing about the night, was that it started out in disaster, witch everybody getting hopelessly lost, finally getting there, not being able to find our hotel, finally finding it much to our overwhelming joy, only to find out that the dolt behind the clerks desk had cancelled the resevations for pratically no reason, cue 30 odd tired, pissed off counselors prowling an absolutely packed out costal town unable to find even a single hotel room. Finally though it all came together, and everyone was so relieved at the ordeal ending, that they all partied like the legends they are. The next day was crowned off by not only some casual schadenfreude when poor J Baker inexplicably destroyed his entire arm getting toppled by a WAVE, but also a Harold & Kumar inspired trip to Whitecastles, which was my first ever time.
Next we have the Staff Week Weekend, which I like immediately because I find its when people do that last final bit of bonding because you're finally in a social enviroment, and also, alot of people start to show their true colours, hahahaha. Night started off by me and graham continuously reassuring everybody that getting 30 of us into a hotel wasnt going to be that hard OR risky, and we wasn't all going to be arrested/shot/etc. Finally got to Super 8's where J Baker smugly strut off into the night puffing on his comedy sized cigar for NO reason. Everyone finally loosened up, and many a drinking game started, with poor meg just being overworked as some sort of makeshift coktail waitress. Dave added to proceedings by amusingly dismissing the need for a bathroom, and instead heroically vomiting into his own hands, casually declaring his night finished about 2 hours in.
Finally you have the day after the Banquet, which most people used as a final hurrah before bowing out for the summer. JD's was the choice, with a maintenance afterparty. Simply classic, everyone enjoying their last night with some great friends, and then everyone deciding to stay up till literally about 5 or 6am since Alex and Anne were leaving early. Curiously I lost my beloved cap halfway through the night, and went on a magical quest with Dingo to find it all over camp, which we eventually did. Class.
Places to eat:
1) HoHo's
2) Sarah St. Grill
3) Frank's Pizza
4) International Buffet
5) Subway
Ok, so first up HoHo's. Anybody with any sense likes chinese food, and so therefore HoHo's was loved by all. Fairly cheap, and you got SO much, basically became a favourite of camp. Also good for teasing your cabin as they sat with congealing Ziti in their stomachs, you sat and nochalantly ate Egg Rolls and Dumplings in front of them. Extra props went out to the buffet, which was so cheap they may as well have paid YOU, and you got lots and lots of oriental treats to take home. Also fortune cookies are a novelty that will never wear off. IN BED! Sarah St Grill was awesome, although always curiously dark inside. Nice for a romantic vibe, not when you just want to chill with some mates. Anyway, it was awesome and became a poopular hangout. Everybody knows Frank's PIzza is awesome, and I personally think it kicks the shit out of Papa Wheelies, which I thought was quite shit, even though being part of a pub is fairly damn arrogant. International buffet is basically like heaven's dining hall, with loads of international goodness on offer. Only downside is you'll almost be ready for heaven in the time it takes to get to this mecca. Ok so subway is shit, but compared to camp food, subway becomes awesome, and nothing is ever going to beat BBQ Rib Patties, so it gets top 5.
Things missing this summer:
1) Short Straws
2) Throwing People in the Lake on their birthday
3) Having the Banquet afterparty at Riflery
4) Someone to organise weekends
5) The Pit Crew
Ok yeah, so short straws were like the highlight of 2004, but with so many old school gone, so was the years old tradition of Rock Paper Scissors abuse. Probably for the best, since it meant like, I actually did my job this year, but I will always have a fond place for them in my heart. Throwing people in the lake was also a great Camp tradition, irritatingly stolen away from us all when a rather arrogant storm decimated the leaning dock back last winter. The best thing about throwing people in of course, was the fact my birthday was after camp and was therefore IMMUNE. Ok im not hating on the banquet, because I did have an awesome time, but there was something magical about the riflery afterparty of years past. Part of it was the fact you were doing something you shouldn't have been, but on this occasion was allowed to, so you had the fun, thrilling and slightly arousing sensation of doing something highly illicit, yet wthout the risk of getting in trouble. Of course, it also meant everybody could drink, so everybody got to party together. not being 21 didn't stop me of course, who had the pomposity to have my friend's ID. Ok yeah so the weekends were pretty fun this year, and I didn't have a bad one the whole summer, but I can't help but feel like they would have been that bit better with someone to sit there and properly organise them. Scotty Connor and Stumbles obviously had this partnership down to a tee, but me and Graham didn't turn out quite the same since we didn't have the patience for it. Ah well, worked out fine I guess. Finally the Pit Crew. The Pit was decidedly empty this year, and while there was a small, exclusive cult following that slowly grew, it wasn't quite the same night off hangout it once was, people curiously chosing to spend their time in the disgusting staff lounge watching bootleg DVD's.
People I will miss:
1) Karen
2) Brett
3) Ryan
4) Graham
5) Brittany
First up Karen, who was simply immense this year, yet has sadly called it a day after one glorious summer. She was a rock to everybody, and she will be greatly missed if she decides not to come back. As will Brett, who worked like an absolute SLAVE all summer, yet still inexplicably never seemed to get pissed off, and was always smiling even though the guy must have been completely burned out. On top of all that he did an absolutely amazing job, and still had time to party with the best of them. Simply the coolest hippy ever, I salute you Sir Vivyan. Ryan too, since not only was he pound for pound probably the best counselor (and there is alot of pounds there) but he went out of his way to make everybody feel good about themselves, and was quite simply an Enigma around camp. Everybody loved him, and Camp really wouldn't be the same place without him. Also a true Rockstar when it came to partying. Then there is Hammer. Ok so I gun this guy alot, and sometimes he does my head in, but the guy is still always my mate, and I will always have time for him, and this year was his last summer, and I am sure he will be missed. Lastly Brittany, party because I was quite struggling at this point, and partly because she was my girlfriend, and since I am writing it, I am going to do what I like.
Creepy acts of the summer:
1) J Baker playing "Never have I ever"
2) Blair and Mary
3) Fayte
4) Basically the Staff Lounge Couch
5) Teak Soo and the Tampon
Ok so this was basically the most disturbing thing ever. We are playing a drinking game on the first ever weekend off called "Never have I Ever" For the uninformed among you it basically involves somebody naming and act, usually sexual and if you have done it, you take a drink. The game had been going on for quite a while now, and the game was winding down, when J Baker suddenly pops up from nowhere, and announces "Never have I ever........jerked off another guy" before smugly looking around the room, and almost PROUDLY taking a hearty swig of jack daniels, completely oblivious to the absolutely stunned silence of those around him. Hahah then you had Blair and Mary, who everyone thought was a really cute couple...excpet they wasn't. A couple that is, poor old Mary really did have a little Lamb this summer. The there is Fayte, who I think the less said about the better, since the Jury literally is out on this one. Then there comes the infamous Staff "STD" Couch, which not only had many secret sexual acts no doubt performed upon it, but was also disgustingly damp. To top it all, it was also donated by Steve Peterman, which should have been a warning to everybody. So now we return back to the Never have I ever game, where Teak Soo quite brilliantly informed us in broken English, that he'd once used a tampon out of curiosity. Nobody dared ask him where he put it. Awesome
I have learnt this summer:
1) Not slacking off is somehow more rewarding
2) The French really are somehow more arrogant than me
3) You can officially drink 19 Yagerbombs and not be sick
4) Girls genuinely enjoy to wrestle in pudding
5) Kid's will immediately overcome any tragedy if you offer them a soda
Quotes of the summer:
1) Ton-Ton!
2) SIKE!
3) Pretty Sweet I guess
4) Faye Bader Almost Peed a little
5) Dingo!!!! You fed them dogs??!
Graham moments at camp:
1) Finally getting laid
2) Scoring against Nejeda for the third year in a row
3) Graham getting tied up by Sioux 5 then throwing a tantrum
4) Graham rocking out camp to Herman the Worm one last time
5) Graham dressing up as a Teen punk goth kid
Funniest moments at camp:
1) Finding that knife under the couch and basically breaking a light in my attempts to be a Ninja
2) Blair Terrorising Dingo on the staff Overnight
3) Henry at Van Campen's Glenn
4) Henry's Face during Drama
5) When Me and Sikes went up to Riflery and discovered all the Rifles were gone
So yeah me and Brittany, someone else and a random Maintenance guy were all in the stall lounge and me and Brittany are wrestling on the couch when we accidentally push the couch segements apart. In my efforts to put it back, I find an old knife, which used to belong to my Co-Counselor in 2004. Hyperactive from all the wrestling, I suddenly decided I was some sort of ninja, and inexplicably threw the knife at the wall, in some vague attempt to make it stick in the wall. Except I am NOT a ninja, and it instaed broke some random broken tube lighting that had been tucked away under some shelf. Ok so it just sounds dangerous and retarded, but we all laughed so hard. Except for me who just panicked. Haha then there is the overnight, where most of us still don't really know each other that well, and have been forced to bond in the great outdoors. After a fairly productive evening, we decided to call it a day and headed off inside the tents to go to sleep. A bit of banter went on between the two tents, before it all finally settled down, only for Blair to suddenly shout "....HEY DINGO!" in a mock Australian accent. We inexplicably all found this the funniest thing ever, especially when he then did it about every 5 minutes for the next hour. Poor old Dingo never did shake that nickname.
Then we zoom off to Van Campen's where Me, Ryan, Sam, Jono and Henry all decided to escape the wild days of camp and spend out 2 hours off chilling at the rockpools at Van Campen's. After a while I was a bit hyperactive and decided to keep flashing Henry my balls, much to his understandable dismay. Only then did Henry of all people randomly Check-Mate me by suddenly revealing himself to be fully naked as he whirled his shorts around his head whilst submerged in a rockpool. Immediately coming to his senses, he started muttering something about not knowing what came over him, whilst the rest of us were too busy laughing ourselves a hernia. Fabulous. Of course the more infamous Henry moment, was when we were all doing some Drama exercises in staff week, and we all got told to open our mouths as much as we could to stretch them, only for us to be treated to Henry's accidental impression of a Scream mask. Last but not least was the rather surreal moment when me and Adam went to treat the kids to a nice bit of morning target practice, only to unlock the shed and find the entire contents, safe and all had been stolen. Dangerous? potentially. Funny? Hell yes
Laziest jobs at camp:
1) Lifeguard
2) International Liason Counselor
3) Arts and Crafts Director
4) Hooray 4 Hippies
5) Zone Officer
Ok so all you did all day at the pool was sit around and catch some sun? WORK MY ASS. Then you had the International Liason deal which basically involved doing a brief tour of camp with a new counselor and giving them a phone card, haha. A&C you just got to chill all day and do some random drawings, and Hooray 4 Hippies was fairly arrogant since the entire idea was to basically relax and watch clouds go by. Zone office was either really tiring or really easy depening on your work ethic, so I guess that all just depended on the person
Banquet moments:
1) Doing Amarillio
2) Singing Bohemian Rhapsbody with Ryan
3) Me and Ryan having some drunken banter when Wes was trying to talk and getting told off
4) Arrogantly getting a wristband to drink even though I was only 20
5) Hookups Slideshow
Random visitors:
1) Scott
2) Barret
3) Steve Peterman
4) Logan Glade
5) Elena - Ok so she wasn't a visitor, but she left after like a day
People you wish had come back this year:
1) Barret
2) Scott
3) Dave
4) Joe
5) Maggie
Nick names of the summer:
1) Faye Bader from America
2) Welsh
3) Bam Bam
4) Sike Adam
5) Jay-Bird
Shady people of the summer:
1) Anna
2) Brett
3) Jay Bird
4) Fayte
5) Scott Harris
Anna just strut around not turning up to her activities, and yet smugly made it all better by cranking out some impressive music work at campfires. I often wondered how Brett was always so happy despite working so hard, but I think more than anything it was because of the amount of women he had slyly chilling on the side. Good work my Hippy friend. Not to be outdone by Jay of course, who came across like the affable, nice Black Hugh Grant all affable and well spoken, but basically was just a bit of a Pimp. Ok so we all know about Fayte, but talking of Pimps, How YOU Doin' Scott Harris? haha
Things that died a death (OD OD):
1) Sioux Street Boys
2) Raids
3) American Idol Style Shows
4) People who were not Adam Sikes doing his catchphrases
5) The Torches bit at the Final Campfires
Yeah so even though I was a member Sioux Street Boys got HUGELY OD'd. Good skit while it lasted, but then it just got overdone to the point even we got a bit bored of it. Once Dingo's gay affair with Hans was revealed, things looked rocky for the band, and soon after, Jason left for a solo career, which truly spelt the end to a lucrative, yet short spell as a group. Ok so raids were pretty good for the kids im sure, but not EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Especially since half of them were completely and utterly lame. TP'ing the porches? Nigger please, I make more mess than that making a sandwich. The American Idol shows were another one, started off great, but then it just descended to an hour of watching kids literally sit on stage while a pop song played, not even attempting to even look like they knew the words. Shameful. Also Adam was a damn funny guy, completely off the hook, and while you can't blame some people for occasionaly laughing along and doing the odd impression, people CONSTANTLY just doing the catchprases was actually really really awesomely funny. SIKE! Ah and then we have the final campfires. Personally, I thought the Torches thing was very atmospheric and nice, but towards the end they just all seemed to be exactly the same and lost its charm slightly. Maybe it was just me.
Good things to happen to camp:
1) Me
2) Time off getting extended
3) Brett
4) Salamander Dance
5) Is this the way to Amarillo
And that is the end of this summers top 5's. I hope they were at least mildly entertaining, since they took me literally a couple of hours to sit there and remember it all, but like I said at the beginning.I am just continuing a long tradition, and and hopefully giving everybody a lighthearted look at the summer. Hope you are all doing well and hope to see you for 2006!
MACKERS |
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